Creating Your Erotic Practice Space

River DroseraSelf Pleasure, Somatic Sex EducationLeave a Comment

Creating a spot or altar somewhere that’s intentionally and specifically devoted to your erotic practice and self-pleasure rituals is a profound gift to yourself. This sacred area helps to make your practice as sustainable as possible. 

Not only that, but taking the time to set this space up can be a fun way to check in with yourself about your desires for your pleasure practice, and it’s a step toward prioritizing and fulfilling them.

You can make a space in your house or bedroom, or if that’s not accessible for you, I like creating altars in gardens – there is something special about watering a garden altar that is dedicated to your pleasure – or carrying a special crystal or rock in your pocket or to wear around your neck that honors your sexual self. Be creative and adapt any of these suggestions from this blog post to better suit your needs.

Ok, let’s dive in…

If you haven’t set up a space or altar like this before, or if you have but never in a way that’s directly related to your sexual nature, don’t worry. I’ll take you through the whole process here. 

But first, here are the reasons why you might want to consider creating this special erotic space for yourself. 

  1. It encourages connection to your practice and promotes its longevity. 

By designing a place that you like being in and want to return to, or carrying special objects with you, you’re more likely to have the natural desire to come back to your practice — even on the days that you have a little more resistance to it. The sustainability of your practice is essential for you to get the full effects and long-term benefits, so aim to create a sacred space or altar that you look forward to going to. Try to create a sense of beauty and comfort — whatever that means for you — that invites you in, even after pausing your practice.

  1. It supports you in breaking old self-pleasure habits that are no longer serving you.

Consider creating a new spot in your bedroom for self-pleasure, that’s in a different area of your room or house than you’re normally accustomed to. For example, if you usually self-pleasure in your bed, try a different spot in your room. If it’s not possible to create a new space in your home or bedroom, then consider how you can make your bed an extra special and sensual place to be in, or try laying with your head in a different location, maybe you lay sideways across your bed when you want to ‘enter’ your altar. Keep any altar items and sex toys nearby. This is a powerful opportunity to cut ties with your old patterns in self-pleasure that don’t serve you and to allow new sensual habits to come in.

  1. It’s a way of showing yourself, on a consistent basis, that you and your pleasure are important.

By bringing your loving attention to the space you practice in, or by carrying sacred objects in your pockets, cars, or woven into jewelry, you’re reminding yourself that your erotic self is a vital natural part of you and that your pleasure matters.

Not only that, but when you lovingly witness and honor your own pleasure and sexuality, you’ll honor other people’s sexual expression as well. Even though this is a self-pleasure practice, its effects ripple outward. By offering ourselves the time and support to truly witness the beauty of our sexual expression and unravel our shame, we begin to destigmatize how we view others’ sexual expression, too.

Black and white photo of River in front of their mirror wearing a dark floral satin robe. They sit on a sheepskin run and candles are lit. They are holding up their hair with their eyes closed.

Intentions

Now that you’re feeling inspired to create this sacred area, it’s time to set an intention for this space. Pause and take some time to feel into and journal as much as you can. Notice sensations, desires, and hopes. For example, do you want a space that centers beauty? Or one that’s easy to clean up? A place that takes care of all of your body’s needs? Do you wish to carry stones that feel sensual to touch and easy to take with you on the go? Do you want a space that invites in your magical and creative sides? Be bold and audacious in your intentions!

Pleasure, Comfort, Beauty, and Sensation

After setting your intentions, it’s time to consider what you’d like your space to look like, and how you’d like it to feel. How can you set it up so that it’s a pleasurable and comfortable place that you want to be in? In what ways can you make it beautiful? Make your space feel like it’s calling to you or flirting with you.

Consider the things you’d like in this area. Which objects stir your pleasure?

Here are some ideas to get you started:

  • Beautiful plants
  • A soft, fuzzy blanket
  • Comfortable pillows
  • Nice candles
  • Your favorite sex toys and lube
  • Massage creams, oils, body butter
  • Music 
  • Aromatherapy diffuser
  • Mirrors  
  • A luxurious robe
  • Sensual Feathers
  • Your favorite sacred items: tarot cards, crystals, etc.
  • Art materials
  • An altar to your erotic self
a shelf of River’s altar. On it sits the two wild unknown tarot decks. In the middle of the decks sit a “yoni egg” and a polaroid of River’s genitals that is covered up with a heart emoji.

Now that your chosen objects are there, ask yourself if there’s anything that needs changes, doesn’t feel quite right, or that can go. Is there anything that doesn’t feel like it belongs? Is there anything that isn’t contributing to your comfort or pleasure? If so, you can take that out or move things around until they feel right to you.

After you’ve created this special practice space, step back and admire your work. Ask yourself finally: are there any other changes I could make that would make this spot even more enjoyable or pleasurable?

This can be a work in progress! You can continue adjusting and changing your space, adding and removing objects, as you move through your practice and as your desires shift over time. As always, follow your pleasure and make it easy for yourself.

Once you’ve taken this time to intentionally build the sacred site for your practice, ask yourself: how did it feel to create this spot that’s just for your erotic self? You can journal about this if you’d like. Creating this space for your erotic self can be a ritual in and of itself.

This blog post, Creating Your Erotic Practice Space, is the foundation of Module 2 in my mini-course: Revitalizing Your Pleasure Practice.  To learn more about what is inside this three-part deep dive into creating a richer, more vibrant self-pleasure practice for yourself, click here.

Thank you for being here!

In breath,

River

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